July 23, 2024 — Regardless of political persuasion, it had to make all good hearts hurt to see President Biden “hit a sour patch.” I found it really hard to watch him face what — sooner or later — we all must: Aging is human. It’s going to happen to each of us … if we’re lucky. But I can’t imagine confronting my physical and emotional vulnerabilities with all the world watching.
Every day in the U.S., another 10,000 of us turn 65. Nearly half of all Baby Boomers have already passed that milestone. The President’s struggles made me stop and consider the many friends and family facing their own health challenges and career consequences. And I found myself irrationally blowing up each of my own minor health issues into,“Yikes, could this be the beginning of my end?!”
Then came the question of “Is anyone being brutally honest with him, and how is he taking it?” That led me back to one of the hardest days of my life: Having to take my aging mother’s car keys away. While it was clear to everyone around her that Mom no longer had the motor skills to be driving, she didn’t see it that way. :( She loved going and doing and considered the act of driving herself there the best part and was not about to give it up.
My sure sense back then that, “Mom, we know best!” haunts me these 25 years later as I find myself starting to question my own brainpower, memory, stamina, and sheer ability to properly string words together (kind of an important skill for a card creator). And, sad to say, I’ve found myself asking for a loyalty oath of sorts from those who work most closely with me each day: “For the sake of Cardthartic and the Cardies who love our cards, promise you’ll tell me when you believe the day that I should step aside is upon us.”
But into my whirling brain and aching heart has also popped a memory of our wise, dear Hannlis. For anyone new to Cardthartic, I’ll quick explain that I’d written of this incomparable friend so often in our Cardie Newsletter that, well, when she passed away at 98, Cardie Mary Ann Nicholls wrote, “What I love is that, through her stories, this wonderful person has become part of us all. Now, the greatest way to honor Hannlis is to keep telling her stories.” (Here they are :)
Back in 2019, H and I were sitting at the shore one evening and I shared with her how much I admired and appreciated my close colleagues on our Creative team. Considering that the three were 20-40 years younger than me, I said to Hannlis, “They are Cardthartic’s future.” Then I remember glumly mumbling, “Hmm, I wonder what that makes me?”
In a heartbeat, this amazing mentor said solemnly, “Jodee, we are the past only when we’ve passed. You are here to lead these talented young women into the future.”
So powerful. I’d already heard Hannlis explain many times, “I was a physical therapist until I was 75 and retired only because (at 110 pounds) I could no longer lift some of the patients that required that help. Because I’ll celebrate my 98th birthday in a few months, I have been asked many times to share the secret to successful aging.
“I always say that it’s key to accept the truth of your condition and then find new ways of doing the things you have always done,” she said. “I’ve had to accept that my strength is getting less and less. Everyone’s world shrinks soon enough. Mine is now about 40 steps from the oceanfront balcony and back, and I know that, if I don’t make that trip several times today, I’ll have a harder time tomorrow. And if I stop going up and down the stairs for practice and exercise, I will no longer be able to manage them at all. Every day I tell myself to do as much as I can — no more and no less.
“Until you accept your circumstances, you’ll feel unhappy,” Hannlis believed. “For example, I know some people won’t accept that they would benefit from using a walker. They say, ‘It will make me look old!’ When I hear that, my first thought as a career physical therapist is always, ‘But you are old, and it’s too bad you won’t accept that because using a walker would allow you to walk on your own just a little longer.’ To me, independence is the basic idea of life, so I advise doing things on your own just as long as possible.
“And just as I was a cheerleader for my PT patients over the years, many kind Cardies have become a cheerleader for me,” she shared. “The lovely messages they write inside the cards they send make me feel that I’m still making a difference in this world, so I want to be sure they know that they have made a real difference in mine!”
To acceptance … and the peace it brings.
Jodee Stevens
Founder & Chief Creative
July 23, 2024 — Regardless of political persuasion, it had to make all good hearts hurt to see President Biden “hit a sour patch.” I found it really hard to watch him face what — sooner or later — we all must: Aging is human. It’s going to happen to each of us … if we’re lucky. But I can’t imagine confronting my physical and emotional vulnerabilities with all the world watching.
Every day in the U.S., another 10,000 of us turn 65. Nearly half of all Baby Boomers have already passed that milestone. The President’s struggles made me stop and consider the many friends and family facing their own health challenges and career consequences. And I found myself irrationally blowing up each of my own minor health issues into,“Yikes, could this be the beginning of my end?!”
Then came the question of “Is anyone being brutally honest with him, and how is he taking it?” That led me back to one of the hardest days of my life: Having to take my aging mother’s car keys away. While it was clear to everyone around her that Mom no longer had the motor skills to be driving, she didn’t see it that way. :( She loved going and doing and considered the act of driving herself there the best part and was not about to give it up.
My sure sense back then that, “Mom, we know best!” haunts me these 25 years later as I find myself starting to question my own brainpower, memory, stamina, and sheer ability to properly string words together (kind of an important skill for a card creator). And, sad to say, I’ve found myself asking for a loyalty oath of sorts from those who work most closely with me each day: “For the sake of Cardthartic and the Cardies who love our cards, promise you’ll tell me when you believe the day that I should step aside is upon us.”
But into my whirling brain and aching heart has also popped a memory of our wise, dear Hannlis. For anyone new to Cardthartic, I’ll quick explain that I’d written of this incomparable friend so often in our Cardie Newsletter that, well, when she passed away at 98, Cardie Mary Ann Nicholls wrote, “What I love is that, through her stories, this wonderful person has become part of us all. Now, the greatest way to honor Hannlis is to keep telling her stories.” (Here they are :)
Back in 2019, H and I were sitting at the shore one evening and I shared with her how much I admired and appreciated my close colleagues on our Creative team. Considering that the three were 20-40 years younger than me, I said to Hannlis, “They are Cardthartic’s future.” Then I remember glumly mumbling, “Hmm, I wonder what that makes me?”
In a heartbeat, this amazing mentor said solemnly, “Jodee, we are the past only when we’ve passed. You are here to lead these talented young women into the future.”
So powerful. I’d already heard Hannlis explain many times, “I was a physical therapist until I was 75 and retired only because (at 110 pounds) I could no longer lift some of the patients that required that help. Because I’ll celebrate my 98th birthday in a few months, I have been asked many times to share the secret to successful aging.
“I always say that it’s key to accept the truth of your condition and then find new ways of doing the things you have always done,” she said. “I’ve had to accept that my strength is getting less and less. Everyone’s world shrinks soon enough. Mine is now about 40 steps from the oceanfront balcony and back, and I know that, if I don’t make that trip several times today, I’ll have a harder time tomorrow. And if I stop going up and down the stairs for practice and exercise, I will no longer be able to manage them at all. Every day I tell myself to do as much as I can — no more and no less.
“Until you accept your circumstances, you’ll feel unhappy,” Hannlis believed. “For example, I know some people won’t accept that they would benefit from using a walker. They say, ‘It will make me look old!’ When I hear that, my first thought as a career physical therapist is always, ‘But you are old, and it’s too bad you won’t accept that because using a walker would allow you to walk on your own just a little longer.’ To me, independence is the basic idea of life, so I advise doing things on your own just as long as possible.
“And just as I was a cheerleader for my PT patients over the years, many kind Cardies have become a cheerleader for me,” she shared. “The lovely messages they write inside the cards they send make me feel that I’m still making a difference in this world, so I want to be sure they know that they have made a real difference in mine!”
To acceptance … and the peace it brings.
Jodee Stevens
Founder & Chief Creative
Beautiful comments. No wonder i love your cards so much!!
Hannlis’s picture should have been on a poster with the slogan ‘USE IT OR LOSE IT’.
What an inspiring woman!
Thank you for this wise reminder, Jodee. 💪🩷
I miss corresponding with Hannlis. What a wise woman!
As I am heavily leaning into my seventh decade (turning 70 in September) I too have found myself wondering about my health and what I can do to forestall the inevitable. Thank you for reminding me that growing older is a privilege and that I still have a lot to share. Hannlis was definately a wonderful and wise woman. I’ll try to remember her words and gently stroll into this new decade with grace and hope.
Beautifully said, Jodie! I’ve learned acceptance is the key to life!
Thank you, Hannlis and Jodee — just what I needed to hear this afternoon!
Loved reading your thoughts, and I’m sure many of us have been thinking about things like this as President Biden had to make a very hard choice far more publicly than any of us would personally want to endure in a moment of major transition like this. What we DO can sometimes be confused with WHO we are. I’ve learned that after some mistakes in my priorities and soul searching about those mistakes. I love my career work and dread stopping one day, but it isn’t all of me—not by a long shot. We have seasons in life and there will be an end to one and a beginning of another. For President Biden, a tweak in perspective might offer new excitement—taking some time to really invest in his family relationships, to go at a slower pace (life can be savored in these moments of observation and gratitude), enjoy some things one never had time to do while the career pace dictated your schedule, go deep spiritually and think about what you really believe (what about your eternity beyond this life? Stop avoiding facing that.), and find new ways to make contributions. As we all decline, we may have less strength or mobility, but can we smile at someone? Can we encourage them? Can we offer some gentle wisdom in love? Can we pray for others who are in need or hurting? We can have purpose as long as we have breath (and some mental clarity). Change is inevitable, but resiliency is optional.
What a beautiful uplifting message! It was a gift on a day that called for inspiration. Thank you!
So deeply inspiring – and more true than, til now, I have pondered. Tomorrow morning before my aging pug, Dunkin, and I walk on the canal…. I will hold an additional 20 count of planks, 20 more sit- ups to Ravel’s Bolero – speak silently to my soul…. promising to add a tiny bit to the agenda ea. morning – knowing and accepting that at some point I will have to do a slow about-face and take those tiny steps in opposition.
Hi Jodee, I just turned 65 a few months ago, and lost 2 friends within 3 weeks of each other. They were 65 and 66, and I’d known them for 43 years. Just tonight I shared a story about my Italian grandmother, Nonna Emilia. She lived with us until I was 18, and she was a pious woman, always counting on her rosary. She would often say “Basta la salute”, which translates to “all you need is your health”. I didn’t really embrace her words back then, in fact I would privately roll my eyes but guess what? I am now about the age she was when she would share those pearls of wisdom, and now I give a shout out to my Nonna Emilia. It is very true, and I thank God for my great health. But just in case…I’ve got a colonoscopy scheduled for a week from today…ugh, wish me luck! I hate the prep…love and good health to all Cardies!
Boy is your message hitting home. We’ve been going through a whirlwind with my husband needing a heart valve replaced & all the fear & uncertainty that goes with that. There should be a law that one partner can’t have cancer & the other a serious heart condition! But we’re here & as Hannlis did we’re cherishing each day. We still feel young…until we look in the mirror.
i have been thinking this newsletter over
for a couple days.
i Am there !
i am 81 years but have a close
relationship with 82 years.
i love being old !
i know a few things !
but i also find my body
“turning on me” !
it does more of what IT wants
and less of what i want.
i have had to make peace
with it on a few avenues.
hannlis was correct.
find a way to keep doing
what you like to do.
i say, if you cannot, let it go
graciously.
i find there are loses
as you age but there
are also gains
i have a list of loses and
a list of gains.
i like to look at it when i
feel sad.
it gives a good perspective.
At 77, I recently acquired my 3rd leased automobile. The kids always ask, “Why do you lease??? It’s a constant payment.” My response:” Every 3 years I get a brand new car, no problems with wear and tear, and one of these years you kids will take away my keys and you’ll have to drive me everywhere.” End of discussion. I write this from my summer beach house, 4 hours from “home” and I drive myself here regularly. So far, so good! Three cheers for Joe Biden, for wise Hannlis, for all of us “golden oldies.” Slowing down sure beats the alternative.