This little exercise is designed for when a little extra self-love is in order. You know those times when we’ve somehow decided that we should be doing “more and better” than we are, letting unrealistic expectations rule? Without being aware of it, we can be way, way too hard on ourselves. This practice may help you gain perspective during those “What’s wrong with me?” times and “Why am I feeling this way?!” days.

To try it, sit back with your eyes closed and picture one of the wisest people you know sitting across from you. Choose a person you admire and view as generally very together, capable and confident.

When you can sense the person there, listen quietly as she (or he) explains all that’s been happening in her life — but it will be Your life she’s describing. Let her lay out for you what’s been going on, matter-of-factly: “First, this happened and then that and now I’m dealing with …” Listen to her outline the challenges of your life.

Just play along … the idea is to help you get a clearer picture of all you’ve been managing on your own. You may just find that hearing it all spelled out end-to-end — and imagining it on someone else’s shoulders rather than yours — gives you a whole new appreciation for how you’ve handled all that you have. When she’s put it all out there — listed all the little hand grenades she’s been juggling, hurdles she’s been jumping, sadness she’s been holding — it’s your turn to respond to her.
What will you say?
Knowing how much you admire her, you’ll likely be kind and understanding, free of the judgment we often lay on ourselves. Will you support her — simply and solidly support her — without a “Why did you do That?!” or an “Ok, here’s how we’re going to fix this.” Can you assure her that she has a friend at her side? Do it, kindly and fully.

The way you cherish, soothe and champion “her” is how to befriend you. “You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection,” Buddha said.

Love you!

PS: If you’d rather practice this exercise in writing, have at it.
Then you can either delete, or send to yourself for future reference.