Aug 20, 2024 — On Saturday, my friend Mari and I had a great, long conversation about our mothers. Mari commented that, based on all my stories in our Cardie Newsletters, I must have had a wooonderful relationship with my mom. “Mari,” I laughed, and maybe you can relate, “we were mother and daughter. And human! We had a wonderful slash horrible relationship. We were tied up in all kinds of painful knots that it took years of love, patience, and determined work in therapy to untangle.
“And now that you mention it,” I said appreciatively, “it seems the older and more emotionally healthy I become, the more I recall only the good and loving parts of Mom. The times my mother was exquisitely thoughtful, nurturing, and kind.”
We lost her in 2005. Given that she would have turned 101 yesterday, today I thought I’d share the best and most inspiring things about her: Her great sense of fun, friendship, and laughter …
In our house growing up, Mom hung a little black wrought-iron sign with cheery yellow lettering that read To Have a Friend, Be One. (Hehe, it was in a bathroom where she knew her kids would be sure to sit and, perhaps, contemplate.) An exemplary Cardie, Mom had all the Girl Scout troops she led over the years send cards to Secret Pals (aka people she sensed would otherwise receive no caring and happy mail.)
It was Mom who insisted 25 years ago now, “We need more humor in the cards, Jo. It does the heart good to laugh and we can never have too many reasons to!” It was that nudge that brought a Cardie-favorite — our Spring Chickens design above — into being. And if you turn the card version over, you’ll see it was dedicated to her best friend Lizzie Bailey …
Lizzie lived in the apartment below Mom’s on Lookout Mountain in Chattanooga. The two of them ran a rope with a little basket and bell between their two balconies; one of them would jangle the bell to alert the other that the basket was moving her way, filled with messages that ranged from “Nelson Mandela will be on Larry King Live! tonight” to “Please send a big chunk of chocolate down here!”
Hehe, as if it were yesterday instead of two decades ago, I remember Mom coming to visit me and the two of us running errands together one very hot day in Miami. Back before Amazon, I was a “put it off, put it off, and then do it all in one fell swoop” shopper, so my little car was packed with BIG purchases (i.e., a new desk chair, an office printer, a few oversized floor pillows, stuff like that). By the time we’d made the rounds picking up everything I needed and then some, there was barely room for my then 70-something mom to squeeze her slim 5’3” self into the back seat behind me.
Heading toward home, I proposed we drive through Dairy Queen to cool off with one of their flavored ice drinks. Mom insisted there was not room for as much as a sippy cup back there, so she’d pass.
I pulled up and gave the courteous kid at the window my order for one kiwi-strawberry Mister Misty, please. “Got it,” he said and waited expectantly for me to order for my companion he could plainly see smooshed in the back seat. When I didn’t, he stretched way out his window and yelled through mine to Mom, “And for you, ma’am?” Without skipping a beat came her pitiful, deadpanned reply: “Oh, she doesn’t feed me.” 🤣
Fast forward to 2005, it had been great to have Mom living in the building next door to me for several years. One evening when I couldn’t reach her by phone, I walked in and found her sprawled on the floor of her kitchen, her pen lying next to her. We’ll never know how many hours earlier she’d had a stroke; the notecards she’d already written were stacked neatly on her desk in the corner.
The nice EMTs let me ride along in the ambulance, and she seemed unbelievably calm and content on the ER gurney for the next SIX HOURS. About four in the morning, a chipper new nurse’s aide with a thick New York accent came in to check her vitals again. With nary a glance at me, he asked Mom, “So how auld are ya, dawl?” Already fuming that they’d kept her lying there so long with no real care as far as I could see, I addressed that numbskull imperiously. “As you can see, my mom has had a stroke, so I will answer for her. My mother is 82.”
From the gurney came her howl, “Nooooooo.” I slumped, sighed, cleared my throat, and tried, “My mother will be 83 in August.”
Again came the surprisingly clear, “Nooooooo,” even more vehemently than before. She might as well have yelled, “Oh, Jo, lighten up and play nice.” So, with an apology and sheepish grin for the poor, confused guy, I said, “My mother is 34.” At that, Mom chuckled, “Right!”
Ah, the messages that stick with us.
How about, to honor Cardthartic’s first and foremost Fairy Cardmother, you order a FREE magnet for yourself this week. You can add it to other items if you already planned to order, or just order a magnet alone. Either way, Mom would be tickled. And you know how your orders arrive with the little Enjoy Today! sticker on them? That was my mother’s signature way of saying goodbye. “Enjoy today!”
Jodee Stevens
Founder & Chief Creative
Aug 20, 2024 — On Saturday, my friend Mari and I had a great, long conversation about our mothers. Mari commented that, based on all my stories in our Cardie Newsletters, I must have had a wooonderful relationship with my mom. “Mari,” I laughed, and maybe you can relate, “we were mother and daughter. And human! We had a wonderful slash horrible relationship. We were tied up in all kinds of painful knots that it took years of love, patience, and determined work in therapy to untangle.
“And now that you mention it,” I said appreciatively, “it seems the older and more emotionally healthy I become, the more I recall only the good and loving parts of Mom. The times my mother was exquisitely thoughtful, nurturing, and kind.”
We lost her in 2005. Given that she would have turned 101 yesterday, today I thought I’d share the best and most inspiring things about her: Her great sense of fun, friendship, and laughter …
In our house growing up, Mom hung a little black wrought-iron sign with cheery yellow lettering that read To Have a Friend, Be One. (Hehe, it was in a bathroom where she knew her kids would be sure to sit and, perhaps, contemplate.)
An exemplary Cardie, Mom had all the Girl Scout troops she led over the years send cards to Secret Pals (aka people she sensed would otherwise receive no caring and happy mail.)
It was Mom who insisted 25 years ago now, “We need more humor in the cards, Jo. It does the heart good to laugh and we can never have too many reasons to!” It was that nudge that brought a Cardie-favorite — our Spring Chickens design above — into being. And if you turn the card version over, you’ll see it was dedicated to her best friend Lizzie Bailey …
Lizzie lived in the apartment below Mom’s on Lookout Mountain in Chattanooga. The two of them ran a rope with a little basket and bell between their two balconies; one of them would jangle the bell to alert the other that the basket was moving her way, filled with messages that ranged from “Nelson Mandela will be on Larry King Live! tonight” to “Please send a big chunk of chocolate down here!”
Hehe, as if it were yesterday instead of two decades ago, I remember Mom coming to visit me and the two of us running errands together one very hot day in Miami. Back before Amazon, I was a “put it off, put it off, and then do it all in one fell swoop” shopper, so my little car was packed with BIG purchases (i.e., a new desk chair, an office printer, a few oversized floor pillows, stuff like that). By the time we’d made the rounds picking up everything I needed and then some, there was barely room for my then 70-something mom to squeeze her slim 5’3” self into the back seat behind me.
Heading toward home, I proposed we drive through Dairy Queen to cool off with one of their flavored ice drinks. Mom insisted there was not room for as much as a sippy cup back there, so she’d pass.
I pulled up and gave the courteous kid at the window my order for one kiwi-strawberry Mister Misty, please. “Got it,” he said and waited expectantly for me to order for my companion he could plainly see smooshed in the back seat. When I didn’t, he stretched way out his window and yelled through mine to Mom, “And for you, ma’am?” Without skipping a beat came her pitiful, deadpanned reply: “Oh, she doesn’t feed me.” 🤣
Fast forward to 2005, it had been great to have Mom living in the building next door to me for several years. One evening when I couldn’t reach her by phone, I walked in and found her sprawled on the floor of her kitchen, her pen lying next to her. We’ll never know how many hours earlier she’d had a stroke; the notecards she’d already written were stacked neatly on her desk in the corner.
The nice EMTs let me ride along in the ambulance, and she seemed unbelievably calm and content on the ER gurney for the next SIX HOURS. About four in the morning, a chipper new nurse’s aide with a thick New York accent came in to check her vitals again. With nary a glance at me, he asked Mom, “So how auld are ya, dawl?” Already fuming that they’d kept her lying there so long with no real care as far as I could see, I addressed that numbskull imperiously. “As you can see, my mom has had a stroke, so I will answer for her. My mother is 82.”
From the gurney came her howl, “Nooooooo.” I slumped, sighed, cleared my throat, and tried, “My mother will be 83 in August.”
Again came the surprisingly clear, “Nooooooo,” even more vehemently than before. She might as well have yelled, “Oh, Jo, lighten up and play nice.” So, with an apology and sheepish grin for the poor, confused guy, I said, “My mother is 34.” At that, Mom chuckled, “Right!”
Ah, the messages that stick with us.
How about, to honor Cardthartic’s first and foremost Fairy Cardmother, you order a FREE magnet for yourself this week. You can add it to other items if you already planned to order, or just order a magnet alone. Either way, Mom would be tickled. And you know how your orders arrive with the little Enjoy Today! sticker on them? That was my mother’s signature way of saying goodbye. “Enjoy today!”
Jodee Stevens
Founder & Chief Creative
Your magnets are awesome! I gave some to a niece going through a difficult divorce and to a friend fighting cancer. Note cards are great, but you put them away. A magnet is a reminder of the kind message from a friend that you enjoy over and over again.
Wonderful stories, love your mom!
And the magnets.
thank you for sharing the loving
memories of your mother.
i read an article some time ago
saying that when people were
offered a relive of their lives,
most of them did not want to
do that because they did not
want to relive the “bad” things,
i though it was interesting
it was the “bad” things that
triumphed over the “good”
as one ages, i think one becomes
more tender.
it is easier to remember the
sweet things that happened to us.
and the sweet things people gave
us.
such as your mother
I’m still laughing at the story with her scrunched in the back seat, “she doesn’t feed me.” Good grief, that is so funny. I lost my mom when I was 28 & I regret how we broke her heart when we moved (with her 2 grandchildren) from NJ to OH. As a grandmother now, I’m sure that was so difficult for her. Thanks for the stories, Jodee.
Jodee, I loved that you said ‘We had a wonderful slash horrible relationship.’.
So many people try to portray themselves as the perfect family.
That makes others feel sad that their family isn’t perfect.
News flash ;) most families are not perfect and have their own set of issues, disputes, hardtimes etc.
The good news is, for most of us, our memory keeps “the best and most inspiring things” about those we love and call family.
I am so glad you got her sense of humor.
Dear Jodee:
I was deeply touched by your newsletter! You welcomed what would have been your Mother’s 101st birthday, with an honest appreciation of her, honed through dedicated work to reach understanding and healing. Perhaps, because we all are human, we can relate, in some way, with your experience. And now, after all-too-short enjoyable years together, your focus is on “the good and loving parts” of your Mother who was “exquisitely thoughtful, nurturing, and kind,” as you fill our hearts with “the best and inspiring things about her: Her great sense of fun, friendship, and laughter…” With each loving, fun-filled memory, you reveal how your Mother, champion of a life-long habit of written encouragement to those in need, certainly contributed to Cardthartic and its motto, “Honoring Emotions.”
And now, you honor your Mother at her birthdate with your generous gift of a free magnet for everyone, in remembrance of the original and “foremost Fairy Cardmother,” source and inspiration of pearls of wisdom and humorous nuggets that adorn many Cardthartic magnets. With deep respect for your openness; high esteem for your diligent work through pain; the delight of savoring the moments of joy you and your Mother rediscovered together; and much gratitude for your timely gift, I join you in honoring the remembrance of your Dear Mother and the precious memories you hold close to your heart!! 💖💖
Love,
Bev
P.S.
Thanks for sharing the backstory of your order sticker, “Enjoy Today!!” To know that was your Mother’s signature good-bye will always cause me to think of her when I see it. 💖💖
Oh Jodee! I can’t tell you how your message warmed my heart. I have gotten quite a few magnets for friends along with your cards. They are all the absolute best!
Thank you for being here for all of us!
Always “Enjoy Today!”
Many Blessings,
Dale
I love this story about your mom…and your comment about being mother and daughter and human. It rings so true for every mother daughter combination I know. So dear to honor your mother’s memory in such a kind and generous way! The spring chicken magnet will always remind me to lighten up and look for the humor in the human condition.