August 19, 2025 – With all eyes on the world stage and the weighty issues unfolding there, we thought it time for a little levity here …
Whenever you’re asked, “How are you?” do you pause to honor your emotions before answering, or do you go on auto-response and say, “Fine.” Fyi, the new card message above is word-for-word what I find myself saying often these days. 😆
As I’ve tried to share without whining in past Cardie Newsletters, I’ve had a series of relatively minor health issues this year. With the pain and frustration now largely — and thankfully! — behind me, whenever I hear, “How are you doing?” from a doctor, friend, or whomever, I’ve found myself speaking the udder truth: “I’ve been better … but I’ve been worse!”
Last week I was entering my third hour of waiting for a blood test at Quest when an email arrived from Contributing Cardie Jessica Swaim. This word whiz already has eight Cardthartic cards to her name, and a month from now — in the fall release — you’ll see we’re publishing another of her messages as well as a lovely photo she’s taken. She’s a quite-clever dynamo, that one!
Coincidentally, while I was waiting to be tested, Jessica had been reviewing test results on the proposed fall designs. While the feedback can be a let-down to read at times, we know all our cards benefit from the input lovingly given by discerning and comfortably candid Cardies.
Jessica’s email opened with, “I admit, sometimes constructive criticism lands hard with me because I work so damn hard on every word and want my work to please an audience. But having had several books published now, that experience has taught me to shake it off (mostly … given time :)”
Because my name had yet to be called in that waiting room packed with people who had arrived before me, I wrote Jessica back that, “I think I find any and all feedback so fascinating because it tends to reveal as much about the reviewer as the work.
“Ha!” I laughed, “I doubt I’ll ever live down the time, in my first few days away at college — fresh off the farm! — I watched as a very sophisticated dormmate from New York’s Upper East Side hung this print on her wall.
“When she turned and asked if I was a fan, I pronounced, ‘Well, that artist could sure use more practice drawing hands.’
“Sooooo many years ago, and still I can see the stunned expression on my new friend’s face as she struggled to find the words to break it to the rube in her room, ‘Um, that artist was Picasso.’” 😳😆
Jessica wrote right back, “Omigosh, what a great story! Can you tell it in an upcoming Cardie Newsletter? As self-deprecating as you are,” she continued, “my mother was too, and nobody laughed louder than she did at her own expense. Here’s a story she told — it’s a ‘sound’ joke, so I’ll do my best. Use your imagination!
“After Mom graduated from business college with stellar dictation skills, she went to work for an attorney who had a very pronounced overbite. We’re talking the old cartoon character Bucky Beaver type overbite, which garbled the man’s enunciation. Brand new on the job, Mom took dictation of a letter in which he referred to a ‘four-inch contract.’ Gee, that’s sure a brief contract, thought Mom, and when the time came for her to read the letter back, ‘Bucky’ set her straight. He said, ‘The Aforementioned Contract.’”
Jessica had me giggling so much that I no longer minded the wait (as much). I responded, “Hahaha, great story, Jessica, and of course, it brings to mind so many others over the years! And since I’m still waiting, I’ll tell you how, a decade or so ago, Cardthartic’s sales manager at the time called me to ask what I thought of her sharing with our Canadian distributor some industry gossip she’d heard concerning them. Having always hated gossip of any kind, any time, with reluctance, I said, ‘Well, if you think it’s important that they be told, go ahead, but be very clear that the info you’re sharing is unconfirmed, so they should take it with a grain of salt.’
“I can only assume I was using Bucky-speak on that call because, when I read the resulting email on which I’d been copied, I saw that the sales manager had advised, ‘Jodee says you should take this with a grain assault.’ 😆🤣😂
“Having always loved malapropisms,” I went on to Jessica, “I’ve often imagined a card with a cartoon drawing of a woman waging an offensive using ears of corn! Ok, one more that my friend Susan Lyon (see her Cardie Profile) tells on herself and we’ve laughed about for, gosh, 40 years. She was interviewing for her first job out of college at the Chicago PR firm where we met. When asked why she thought she was the best candidate for the writing position, she sat up a little straighter, looked her would-be boss in the eyes, and said, ‘Why, because I am an exceptional communicator, both orally and verbally!’ 🤓
“Which reminds me of my own first job interview. The woman I so wanted to hire me started giggling as she read a letter of reference written by the publisher of my college newspaper. When I asked what she found funny in what I’d thought was a pretty sober and straightforward LOR, she said, ‘Oh, I’m just wondering if she meant to write that you were really adept rather than stating here that you’re really inept.’
“Jessica,” I concluded, as I’d by then decided to give up my Quest quest for the day, “per your suggestion that we do a Cardie Newsletter on this topic — between your mom, Susan, and inviting Cardies to share their own favorite malapropisms and misspokes — this would be a very fun CNews indeed!” 🤔🙏🏼😎
So whatchagot, Cardies?! Tell us, please and thanks!
Jodee Stevens
Founder & Chief Creative
August 19, 2025 – With all eyes on the world stage and the weighty issues unfolding there, we thought it time for a little levity here …
Whenever you’re asked, “How are you?” do you pause to honor your emotions before answering, or do you go on auto-response and say, “Fine.” Fyi, the new card message above is word-for-word what I find myself saying often these days. 😆
As I’ve tried to share without whining in past Cardie Newsletters, I’ve had a series of relatively minor health issues this year. With the pain and frustration now largely — and thankfully! — behind me, whenever I hear, “How are you doing?” from a doctor, friend, or whomever, I’ve found myself speaking the udder truth: “I’ve been better … but I’ve been worse!”
Last week I was entering my third hour of waiting for a blood test at Quest when an email arrived from Contributing Cardie Jessica Swaim. This word whiz already has eight Cardthartic cards to her name, and a month from now — in the fall release — you’ll see we’re publishing another of her messages as well as a lovely photo she’s taken. She’s a quite-clever dynamo, that one!
Coincidentally, while I was waiting to be tested, Jessica had been reviewing test results on the proposed fall designs. While the feedback can be a let-down to read at times, we know all our cards benefit from the input lovingly given by discerning and comfortably candid Cardies.
Jessica’s email opened with, “I admit, sometimes constructive criticism lands hard with me because I work so damn hard on every word and want my work to please an audience. But having had several books published now, that experience has taught me to shake it off (mostly … given time :)”
Because my name had yet to be called in that waiting room packed with people who had arrived before me, I wrote Jessica back that, “I think I find any and all feedback so fascinating because it tends to reveal as much about the reviewer as the work.
“Ha!” I laughed, “I doubt I’ll ever live down the time, in my first few days away at college — fresh off the farm! — I watched as a very sophisticated dormmate from New York’s Upper East Side hung this print on her wall.

“When she turned and asked if I was a fan, I pronounced, ‘Well, that artist could sure use more practice drawing hands.’
“Sooooo many years ago, and still I can see the stunned expression on my new friend’s face as she struggled to find the words to break it to the rube in her room, ‘Um, that artist was Picasso.’” 😳😆
Jessica wrote right back, “Omigosh, what a great story! Can you tell it in an upcoming Cardie Newsletter? As self-deprecating as you are,” she continued, “my mother was too, and nobody laughed louder than she did at her own expense. Here’s a story she told — it’s a ‘sound’ joke, so I’ll do my best. Use your imagination!
“After Mom graduated from business college with stellar dictation skills, she went to work for an attorney who had a very pronounced overbite. We’re talking the old cartoon character Bucky Beaver type overbite, which garbled the man’s enunciation. Brand new on the job, Mom took dictation of a letter in which he referred to a ‘four-inch contract.’ Gee, that’s sure a brief contract, thought Mom, and when the time came for her to read the letter back, ‘Bucky’ set her straight. He said, ‘The Aforementioned Contract.’”
Jessica had me giggling so much that I no longer minded the wait (as much). I responded, “Hahaha, great story, Jessica, and of course, it brings to mind so many others over the years! And since I’m still waiting, I’ll tell you how, a decade or so ago, Cardthartic’s sales manager at the time called me to ask what I thought of her sharing with our Canadian distributor some industry gossip she’d heard concerning them. Having always hated gossip of any kind, any time, with reluctance, I said, ‘Well, if you think it’s important that they be told, go ahead, but be very clear that the info you’re sharing is unconfirmed, so they should take it with a grain of salt.’
“I can only assume I was using Bucky-speak on that call because, when I read the resulting email on which I’d been copied, I saw that the sales manager had advised, ‘Jodee says you should take this with a grain assault.’ 😆🤣😂
“Having always loved malapropisms,” I went on to Jessica, “I’ve often imagined a card with a cartoon drawing of a woman waging an offensive using ears of corn! Ok, one more that my friend Susan Lyon (see her Cardie Profile) tells on herself and we’ve laughed about for, gosh, 40 years. She was interviewing for her first job out of college at the Chicago PR firm where we met. When asked why she thought she was the best candidate for the writing position, she sat up a little straighter, looked her would-be boss in the eyes, and said, ‘Why, because I am an exceptional communicator, both orally and verbally!’ 🤓
“Which reminds me of my own first job interview. The woman I so wanted to hire me started giggling as she read a letter of reference written by the publisher of my college newspaper. When I asked what she found funny in what I’d thought was a pretty sober and straightforward LOR, she said, ‘Oh, I’m just wondering if she meant to write that you were really adept rather than stating here that you’re really inept.’
“Jessica,” I concluded, as I’d by then decided to give up my Quest quest for the day, “per your suggestion that we do a Cardie Newsletter on this topic — between your mom, Susan, and inviting Cardies to share their own favorite malapropisms and misspokes — this would be a very fun CNews indeed!” 🤔🙏🏼😎
So whatchagot, Cardies?! Tell us, please and thanks!
Jodee Stevens
Founder & Chief Creative



love love the cards ❤️
And I bet you can appreciate how LOVEly that is to hear! Thanks for taking the time and devoting the energy to acknowledging what we do around here. And where would we and the world be without caring Cardies like you?! 🙏🏼
Let me set the scene… My dad had died a few months earlier and his box of ashes was carefully placed in my guest bedroom along with a few belongings that created his “shrine.” Now, shifting gears, I collect blue willow made by this one pottery and I am shopping online at their website. They have a special on this new little trinket box and have written: “To keep some small, decedent treasure!” I knew they meant ‘decadent,’ but all I could envision was spooning some of Dad’s ashes in there! It made me chuckle then as it does now when I write this!
So, so funny, and what a great storyteller you are. Thanks for contributing, Nancee. If you’ve not read our company tour, you might enjoy reading my own father’s part in inspiring The Cardthartic Experience. So, reading your comment, my first thought was, “I wonder if your dad was a mischief maker sending this crazy message as a way of saying, “I’m with you, Nancee.” And my second thought was, “I hope our dads are hanging out together, keeping an eye on their decadent storyteller daughters!” 📬
That would be just like my dad! He has sent other messages before. I can see the smile on his face and the twinkle in his eye. I do hope our dads are hanging out together, having a lovely time keeping an eye us. I know it’s a tough job, but somebody has to do it! 😂
What a good story, Nancee! Finding reason to smile in the midst of sorrow — what a gift to yourself and to your dad!
I never take the time to sit down and send you anything, but I have to let you know how much these newsletters do to get me into the shower and to the office!
Haha, given the satirical nature of this CNews, I have to wonder if “get me into the shower and to the office” is a good thing?!? Sounds kinda like you and I might have been mud wrestling the morning away. 😆 It would be a pleasure, Marie. 🤗
Such fun stories and great to start the morning with a good laugh! Thank you. BTW Jodee…I would never have lasted 3 hours. Medical providers are like professors…no shows after 20 minutes means class is dismissed!
,
Love how you honor your emotions with, “I’m outta here,” Suellen. I think my Fairy Cardmother may have pulled some strings as my appointment was honored in less than 10 minutes at a different Quest location today! 👏🏼
I have a Spoonerism for you. That’s when you transpose the first parts of 2 words, like puddle of mud becoming muddle of pud.
The other day my husband and I were leaving early for the drive to his work. I meant to ask, “Please get my water bottle,” but I was still sleepy and it came out “Please get me bater wottle.” Now we both use that expression.
Hope Jodee finally got her blood work!
Leave it to you, Dr. Cardoni, to educate and amuse us in one fell swoop! Thank you. After a successful trip to another Quest today, I am “celebrating” this win by posting this reply from The Cheesecake Factory. It was all I could do not to answer the server’s question of “What would you like to drink?” with, “Bater wottle, please.” 🤗
That one made me laugh, Agnes, and I’ll bet you’ll be widely quoted. One good spoonerism deserves another: At after-school practice one day, when our high school orchestra teacher was frustrated with the violin section, she went on a brief tirade, then tapped her baton on the music stand and barked, “From the top, second piddle fart!” Everyone, including the dear lady herself, laughed so hard that, “Class dismissed!”
I was at Mass this past Sunday. A nun in full habit gave a talk about her order’s mission. She started by asking, “Is anyone constipated?” I thought, “Am I supposed to admit to that?” And then I realized she said “consecrated”. I really chuckled to myself. I shared my misinterpretation with her after Mass. She laughed heartily!
That is hilarious, Karen, and what a great storyteller you are! I definitely felt, “You Are There,” and I bet the good Sister has also told your tale a time or two! Thank you for sharing it here. 😆👏🏼🙏🏼
Yes, thank you, Karen! So well told!
Jodster, U crack me up!!
Luv, U know who?
Hahaha, Gay, I can hear your (enviably flat) belly laugh from here! Commenter Gelski, beware …what fun stories there are to tell of you! Stay tuned! ♥️🤗
When I was a student at the police academy, a funny thing happened. Our class — about 150 people — somehow managed to make our commander really angry. He gathered us all on the parade ground, lined us up, and started giving a long and boring lecture. I don’t even remember what exactly we did wrong, but I do remember his face — red with rage.
At the end of his speech, he barked:
— From now on, you will run a 10-kilometer cross-country run every single day, three times a week!
And then the unexpected happened: all 150 of us burst out laughing so hard that the whole parade ground roared like a stadium. At first, the commander turned even redder, but then he couldn’t resist and started laughing with us.
Of course, the laughter didn’t cancel the punishment — we still had to run those ten kilometers faithfully. But- with the smile on our faces!
I always go to my parents’ house on Tuesday mornings and I don’t take extra care to look put together when I go there – they are just good, come-as-you-are country folk. But today I knew I was heading directly from my parents’ house to have lunch at my second grade teacher’s house, so I thought I better look more presentable. The first words out of my mouth when I saw my reflection was, “I look like Methuselah…” followed by a face palm and “Medusa, Medusa!” I later thought if I took in the whole look and not just the wild hair…perhaps I did look like a guy who died at 969 years old. ;)
Thanks for the lovely laughs everyone. It’s been a LONG day!
I was recently in a well-known bakery in Santa Fe and couldn’t resist a broad smile when I saw the label Current Oatmeal Cookies. Hmm. Freshly-baked or mixed with currants?
Great fun descriptions of life events. Thanks for sharing.
“Bucky” brought this event to mind:
After a party I attended, I got braces in my 40s because my friend’s mother-in-law, who was deaf, could read everyone’s lips at the party except mine. I asked my friend to ask her why she couldn’t read my lips and she responded by pursing her lips and sticking out her top teeth in an obvious example of bucked teeth.
So I went to an orthodontist, and his first question was, “Why didn’t you get braces when you were young?” I answered, “I had braces as a teenager. My dog ate the retainer!”