May 21, 2024 — With Memorial Day coming up, I’m remembering as a girl watching my mother carefully arrange the bouquets she’d take to the little country cemetery down the road. She’d place one on the grave of the maiden aunt who so lovingly raised her, and spend a few minutes there. Then, with a hand on her heart as if saying her own pledge of allegiance over every one, she’d move from headstone to headstone, placing flowers for veterans she may not have known, but admired, appreciated, and mourned all the same.
Last week, we read the following thought piece by writer Danielle Charbonneau and found it so powerful that we asked her permission to share it with you. As you’ll see, Danielle is quiet kindness and generosity personified. She wrote:
“In the past few years, I’ve attended quite a few funerals and memorial services. One thing became abundantly clear to me while listening to people talk about their lost loved ones. Rarely, if ever, did they talk about the person’s career. Nor did they even talk about the person’s accomplishments. They talked about the person’s unique personality traits, their little quirks and idiosyncrasies, the little gestures of kindness they showed, or the memories they helped create.
“They talked about how Joe braided his niece’s hair on her first day of kindergarten; how Peter loved to fix things with Duct Tape; how Grandma prepared her cinnamon-sugar toast; how loud Dad listened to his records on the stereo; or how Grandpa always cruised with the windows down, listening to Frank Sinatra. They talked about memories of times spent together, fishing in the creek, cracking jokes around a campfire, or swimming at the beach. They talked about the little things. About how the person showed up in their lives.
“So lately I’ve been asking myself not what I am doing but, rather, who am I being? Am I being loving, compassionate, and kind? Am I showing up for my friends and family? Am I being selfless, and making small loving gestures to the people around me? Am I joyful and seeking gratitude for what I have? Am I being patient and empathetic with others? Who am I showing up as in the world?
“During these strange and challenging times, my shift from doing to being has been revelatory. It has helped me brave each day with a greater sense of purpose: to be a loving presence in a struggling world. I now find myself bringing a plate of leftover lasagna to the security guard in my apartment building, picking up groceries for my neighbor, and reaching out to old friends I haven’t talked to in ages.
“Putting more emphasis on who I am being in the world — rather than what I am doing — has allowed me to have less end-of-the-world anxiety. And I know that, when I have died, these are the things people will remember.”
With thanks to Danielle as well as my mom for setting us all up for a more meaningful Memorial Day weekend, let me share the closing line of a recent email from our CEO Ana. “Let’s turn off the news and, instead, look for beautiful people, places, movies, books … anything that will lift us up.” Please tell us, what are your favorite ways to lift people up these days?
Jodee Stevens
Founder & Chief Creative
May 21, 2024 — With Memorial Day coming up, I’m remembering as a girl watching my mother carefully arrange the bouquets she’d take to the little country cemetery down the road. She’d place one on the grave of the maiden aunt who so lovingly raised her, and spend a few minutes there. Then, with a hand on her heart as if saying her own pledge of allegiance over every one, she’d move from headstone to headstone, placing flowers for veterans she may not have known, but admired, appreciated, and mourned all the same.
Last week, we read the following thought piece by writer Danielle Charbonneau and found it so powerful that we asked her permission to share it with you. As you’ll see, Danielle is quiet kindness and generosity personified. She wrote:
“In the past few years, I’ve attended quite a few funerals and memorial services. One thing became abundantly clear to me while listening to people talk about their lost loved ones. Rarely, if ever, did they talk about the person’s career. Nor did they even talk about the person’s accomplishments. They talked about the person’s unique personality traits, their little quirks and idiosyncrasies, the little gestures of kindness they showed, or the memories they helped create.
“They talked about how Joe braided his niece’s hair on her first day of kindergarten; how Peter loved to fix things with Duct Tape; how Grandma prepared her cinnamon-sugar toast; how loud Dad listened to his records on the stereo; or how Grandpa always cruised with the windows down, listening to Frank Sinatra. They talked about memories of times spent together, fishing in the creek, cracking jokes around a campfire, or swimming at the beach. They talked about the little things. About how the person showed up in their lives.
“So lately I’ve been asking myself not what I am doing but, rather, who am I being? Am I being loving, compassionate, and kind? Am I showing up for my friends and family? Am I being selfless, and making small loving gestures to the people around me? Am I joyful and seeking gratitude for what I have? Am I being patient and empathetic with others? Who am I showing up as in the world?
“During these strange and challenging times, my shift from doing to being has been revelatory. It has helped me brave each day with a greater sense of purpose: to be a loving presence in a struggling world. I now find myself bringing a plate of leftover lasagna to the security guard in my apartment building, picking up groceries for my neighbor, and reaching out to old friends I haven’t talked to in ages.
“Putting more emphasis on who I am being in the world — rather than what I am doing — has allowed me to have less end-of-the-world anxiety. And I know that, when I have died, these are the things people will remember.”
With thanks to Danielle as well as my mom for setting us all up for a more meaningful Memorial Day weekend, let me share the closing line of a recent email from our CEO Ana. “Let’s turn off the news and, instead, look for beautiful people, places, movies, books … anything that will lift us up.” Please tell us, what are your favorite ways to lift people up these days?
Jodee Stevens
Founder & Chief Creative



Oh, Danielle, you took me back to cemetery visits of long ago. Thank you. Ana is right: away with the TV. Look among us for good people.
When my Dad passed last September, so many of my cousins shared how much they admired him and stories of his kindness and guidance. It was the person he was that impressed others, not his accomplishments. That was so heartening for my brothers and me.
Since my own retirement, I have tried to contact old friends, share memories, and to LISTEN to them. None of us are getting any younger, and we all want to be heard. Good conversation tells them what they mean to me, and it certainly makes me feel better too. Of course, a caring card in the mail also brings a smile.
I read one time about people complimenting strangers. It’s fun to walk by and say I love your dress and have the person smile and keep walking. But they are a little taller as they pass by! I talk about clothing, shoes, hats, whatever. And then one day two little girls came up to me, very shyly, and said we love your boots! They giggled and ran away. I felt so good for the rest of the night it was amazing!
Such an inspirational piece, so thankful you included that Jodee. I also love Ana’s suggestions for us. Sending cardthartic cards is what I do to lift people up & let them know that I’m thinking about them. Since we lost my mother-in-law who was remarkable in remembering all the family birthdays & milestones, I have tried to take her place. The family now calls me the matriarch! I’ll take it.
Jodee, thank you for sharing that piece by Danielle. I think I would like to know her…and your mother. Your question leaves me wondering, DO I lift anyone up? The cards and letters I write, do they lift that person, as intended, or do they only cheer me? When I make dresses and doll clothes for little girls in the family, does it fill them with joy, as it did when Mammy made them for me? I do know that walks lift my mother’s spirits…and sometimes her body. She isn’t able to take them she same way she used to. Still, I try to encourage her and be with her as much as I can. Is that lifting her or me…or both of us?
By the way, that beautiful card up top looks as though it was created just for a cousin of mine. Looks like I’d better be making an order soon!
I am so grateful to have Danielle’s piece before me – since retiring over a year ago and dealing with family hardships, I have come to wonder if I’m thinking too much – about family – what’s going on across a coupla ponds, how the heck we are going to best the horrific world issues and be true to ourselves…. I find myself looking to my origins….spontaneously doing for neighbors what I would so appreciate were I in a fix – hugging my pug, Dunkin, a little tighter….as we both walk the path of aging and change. Danielle is right you know. One’s accomplishments are small when compared to time – deeds – labors of love – that our hearts speak to us with – and we listen. Dunkin and I will now walk the walk – of love…. the dearest friendship – promise of a happier tomorrow…. for us all.
I send happy cards, with positive stories of little events. How my adopted rescue puppy dog met her first cat. The century plant that is blooming around the corner. How my grandson is now taller than me and the other one has my travel gene. How my neighbor gave me so many lemons from their backyard I have been baking up a storm! Everyone gets enough of the bad stuff, I focus on daily joys. Getting snailmail these days is a treat,whether you are 101 or 13!
YES danielle,
i was the recipient of some of
that kind of care and kindness
recently when i was ill and contagious.
my neighbor, sally, put eggplant
parmesan at my front door.
went to the grocery store for me.
put soup at my front door.
another day, strawberries and blueberries.
more — lemon bars.
texted to check on me.
brought my trash can up from the street.
yes that is what i will remember
about sally. not her many accomplishments.
she IS a talented artist. ;)
we are grateful for people like sally
and danielle.
may we be them !
Danielle, I loved your beautiful sentiments. They went into my soul in a way that did not leave me feeling regret or shame or pressure from ways I could have done better as a human. I just feel beautifully blessed with this new day to live differently. I have benefitted from family, friends and complete strangers that have extended to me those simple acts of kindness; I hope to “be” that person to others. Your writing is Just beautiful. Thank you for inspiring me today!
I live by the saying ‘If you see something say something’ except I don’t only do it for potential danger or security concerns.
I do it to tell someone I know or even a total stranger when I see something about them I say it to them such as ‘you have beautiful eyes’, ‘you have a wonderful smile’, ‘thank you for your service’ or ‘that was nice that you are picking up the trash on the beach’. People often feel invisible and don’t realize that someone sees them and appreciates who they are or what they do/did.
THANK YOU to our military men and women who lost their lives in service to our country. THANK YOU to those serving today.
We see and admire your bravery.
Beautifully said, Danielle and it resonated right to my heart’s remembrance of many memorials I planned for my lost loved ones. I hold close to the grace of sharing their loves throughout their lives, calling my dad a dance partner extraordinaire and my mom, a compassionate life role model who left so many pearls of wisdom to follow. Thank you for your words and to Jodee who calls us all to be kind and caring in this chaotic world where kindness seems at times lost amidst frightening foreboding. We can light a candle against the winds through our own acts of kindness however small it may feel at any time. Namaste, I honor the light within us. Shawn L
Wow, lots of great comments and rightly so. Recently I saw a man with a trunk full of clothes going into the laundry mat. I dug out $20, handed it to him and said “I haven’t done anything nice for anyone lately and I’d like to pay for you washing your clothes.” He grinned, and as I pulled out of the parking lot he gave me a big wave. Made my day! I love doing this type of thing. So easy and fun!
I have been trying to teach my younger co-workers that they shouldn’t put work first for precisely what Danielle said, “when you are gone, they don’t discuss what a wonderful worker you were” and the employer will continue on with out you. I try to remind them how important time with their family is and that they should use all their time off!
I like to saying Good Morning to the strangers I see on my daily walks; compliment strangers on their hair or an article of clothing; compliment or thank Mom’s at the playground for doing something “Mom like” for another child at the playground and for how their children behaves or for something the child might have done that was kind/thoughtful/caring.
Such a beautiful piece that resonated so strongly with me. It’s been almost two years since my husband passed away. During this time, I have struggled to know my purpose. I am retired and no longer contributing to my profession. I am no longer a caregiver. I am no longer a wife. Why am I here? What should I be DOING?
In the last few months, I began to realize that maybe DOING isn’t as important as BEING. I need TO BE – and TO BE AWARE of the needs of others and to be aware of how I can respond to those needs. To be aware and TO BE AVAILABLE to serve when called.
Danielle’s passionate essay confirmed that I am on the right path. Thank you so much for sharing it.